She can’t tell the night from the day

Today I can’t get enough of The Velvet Underground song Oh! Sweet Nuthin’ today. I feel like it is speaking to my insides, to my soul, to the yet unwritten words that are doing somersaults in my bloodstream. I want to drink it up, devour it, bathe in it, comb it through my hair and inhale it deep in my lungs, this feeling, this song, the way it is making me feel. I feel it in my chest, that nearly about to burst feeling, emotions ready to explode out of me. The sensation is bigger than the prickle goosebumps feeling, it is stronger than that just about to cry burn, it is more like that moment before you tumble off desire’s edge, that split second before a lover’s name escapes from your lips, before the lights go dim, than flash as bright as the sun, and that little death of an orgasm takes control. It feels like first love, or lust, or those terribly wonderful crushes that make you weak in the knees. Oh music, the way you can move me is like nothing else at all.

No one has the answer

I don’t remember when we said goodbye, or if we ever did. The last memory I have is in that apartment, the one above the coffee place and the strange used everything store that never seemed to be open. Sometimes we would stand out on the fire escape, the rickety kind that you see in movies, in New York, in the Seventies, and you would share a cigarette with me. You didn’t smoke and I still did, but some nights you would pretend to, holding your hand out for a drag, taking it gently, with intent, as if it were something to seduce. We didn’t go out there that afternoon, we never seemed to when the sun was still visible. I sat cross-legged on your floor, touching stacks of books, picking one after the other up to read the back, anything to hide my nervous, shaking hands.

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