I woke with a swollen throat and the remnants of a strange dream, the kind that stays there in your peripheral, but never comes clear enough for actual remembering. I feel like I’ve been sick for an entire month, when in reality it has been a back and forth yo-yo kind of illness that has never taken me all the way down, thus I’ve never let myself be down to relax and get over it. Well, now I think it is dancing around in the winner’s circle, shouting victory in taking me down for the proverbial count. I think tomorrow will be a day spent in bed with the books I got at the library today, and maybe a movie, or two. I have a movie that a friend sent me to watch, and a copy of a movie I have been wanting to see, but missed at the theater, so I suppose there is no real excuse anymore. Time to kick this cold, or whatever this crap is, in the ass.
I had the best juice ever today. I was at Jamba Juice and asked the girl behind the counter (is there such thing as a juice barista?) what she’d recommend to combat a cold, and she suggested this juice collaboration they have called Citrus Kick, which was a mix of oranges, apples, pineapples, and ginger, with a vitamin C and zinc boost. I seriously have never had juice that tasted this good, and it was some magic elixir with some supernatural goodness inside because for about two hours I felt almost better. It wore off though, and if I didn’t feel so weak right now I’d probably drive over and get another. Maybe tomorrow, though that would break my pact to not leave the house, much less my bed.
Matt Costa’s song Witchcraft sounds like it could be a song from the sixties. I had to stop and look at my music player to verify. I recently found a bunch of music on my computer that I thought I’d lost and have been enjoying revisiting some songs not heard in a couple of years. It feels like finding an old mix CD in your car’s glove box and slipping it in to listen. Each song brings back something, be it a memory of someone, or of a moment, or maybe just of who you were the last time you listened. Or, like with this song, you find yourself noticing something you may have missed before. I don’t remember even having this song before, but I’m glad I did.
It will never not feel a little strange to come across something written about yourself. To see someone’s view, their flavor of a moment, another’s way of remembering, it is jarring, and curious, and sometimes painful. Knowing writers and musicians I know it is bound to happen, but I never seem to be ready for it. I guess I should be flattered, but instead it makes me feel uneasy, vulnerable and a little sad. But, hey, what can I say? Even writing this here in my own space feels more than a little hypocritical, as I write about everyone. I guess this is one of those moments when I realize I prefer being behind the camera and not in front of it, at least not when I can’t control the final shot.
I’m making homemade soup for the first time in my life tonight. Here’s hoping for something edible to come out of it. I do love to cook, even if I always feel so clumsy in the process of it, as if someone unscrewed my hands and switched them, each one not quite sure how to move right, or stay steady.
Witchcraft (live) :: Matt Costa
at the starlite diner 
I’m just reading my way through but if I’m the friend that sent the movie that is so weird because I just wrote about that! But you wrote no excuse and I wrote that you are exempt from watching(but no excuses for anybody else) because you are sick. Too funny. Back to reading.
Oh no, what did you read about yourself? Or I guess it sounds like something you wouldn’t want to re-visit & repeat…I’m unsure if this is in the same field as what you’re mentioning but the few times I’ve come upon someone else’s writing about me in recent years I felt frustrated, out of control and a bit violated. I wanted to explain and realized it was better to ignore the writing but it bothered me a lot, then again they weren’t written by people deep in my life that I care much for so on that end it wasn’t so bad. In recent years I’ve become careful not to say too much about other people by asking myself if I’m telling my story or their story or if I’m being fair. I usually decide whatever I wanted to release by writing about it is better shared with a friend over coffee than online but sometimes my best sorting out and thinking comes from writing so I miss that. I’m rambling…this is an interesting topic though, lots of angles to think about.
Listening to the song now, like it, does have an old sound to it. Wonder if the rest of his music is like that.
Maybe post your soup recipe if you love it.